She lights up bounds into my arms

and holds tight

I've surprised her this alternate Friday

left messages unchecked,

emails queued

and beat the traffic out of town

for no other reason

than this weekend I get to be Daddy.

Four days a month isn't much

We fill it full of routine, normal things

as if the way things are is the way things ought to be.

We stop for wieners, 2 for a buck

she counts the change

buys a paper for the comics

We'll stop for groceries

before the hour and a half ride home

I'll hear about school.

She'll read, perhaps aloud to me

She'll nap

prepare herself for Blockbuster and a night up past her bedtime.

I count weekends and months slip by.

She's not so easy to carry anymore.

I hear her converse with a depth that surprises me

her innocence is getting more complicated

Harry Potter trivia requires research

I want a cigarette

I want to understand

I want all these things to slow down

I just want to be called Daddy.

My ex tells me the big changes are coming.

My lover tells me the Big changes are coming.

somewhere I know the Big Changes are coming

but not now

this weekend we do something different

we stop at a lake

spend an hour

skipping stones.